Thoughts Run Unspoken
by PeachyKeen83
Summary: My thoughts run unspoken with all the things we should have said never but never did. All the choices we should have made but were afraid to. All the ways I loved you - and all the ways I still do. Hear me now. A different kind of season 9. R&R.
1. Same Mirror, Different Reflection

**Author's Note: **New Material. Please review! You know I love them :)

**Thoughts Run Unspoken**

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame: the gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins."

_Bob Moawad_

**Chapter 1: Same Mirror, Different Reflection**

The fight had been inevitable. Spanning the eight weeks since the accident that had thrown a spanner in their otherwise working relationship, Brooke had felt it coming on like a wildfire set to slow burn. Unavoidable, it was only a matter of time before the brunette fashionista had snapped. Stepping into the dimly lit bar, she was encompassed with the smell of stale cigarette smoke and beer. The floor was littered with peanut shells and used cigarettes, shoulders slumped as bodies slouched over circular tables. This was never a place where Brooke Davis had intended to find herself at this point in her life – yet she knew the moment she stepped into the run-down bar on the outskirts of town that she would find exactly what she was looking for.

An instinct that was to be proven right as emerald orbs darted to the left corner of the room and landed on the familiar shape of a drunken husband. Anger flared within her as strappy Monolo's weaved in and out of the scattered nobodies en route to her somebody.

"Julian," raspy, her voice hit his ears and stirred a reaction. "What the hell?"

Wrinkled, heavy eyelids had shielded the downtrodden producer from the prying eyes of the bar's patrons for better part of the day, but they were not match for the fiery woman before him. There was a point in time where he had found her tenacious nature exciting. _Admirable.__** Intoxicating.**_ Now, it felt more like a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking – his own form of torture and torment for his incapability of being a decent husband.

_Even worse, a decent father._

Bloodshot eyes shot up and connected with her furious gaze. _Hiiccuuuppp_. He was clearly drunk, a sight the young designer has seen every night for the better part of two months. Destroying them, it made her feel more inclined to slap him than to love him, but she had taken vows and so here she was.

_Again_.

"It was a rough day." Slurred, his words hummed over lazy lips. Bringing the glass to his mouth, the miserable producer swallowed down his hundredth sip of beer that night, closing his eyes as the amber ale cascaded down his throat.

"It's always a rough day," his wife responded, the irritation evident in her tone. "Why don't you try a new excuse?"

She was annoying him, in a way a mosquito attacks warm flesh in the middle of the night, buzzing around his ear and offering him no sign of reprieve. He didn't want to fight. He didn't want to sit there and listen to whatever guilt trip she was about to lay on him. He simply wanted to get drunk and forget about everything that made him feel about the size of an ant.

"What the hell is your problem?" Angered, his snarl came out more venomous than he even realised, Problem was, he was married to Brooke Davis and she was perhaps the feistiest woman on the planet.

"My problem?" Fuming, lips trembled as deeps breaths tried to calm. "My problem is that my husband is a drunk and our kids miss their Dad!"

"Our kids," came the pathetic reply, Julian rolling his eyes at her statement like it was borderline preposterous. "I'm barely allowed to touch them these days."

_Oh no!_ Red alarms sounded off within her mind, a few patrons looking up from their monotonous conversations to gaze upon the fragile, arguing couple. They had seen it all before, yet this couple seemed different. She seemed stronger than most of the accepting wives of alcoholics. Reeling from his worlds, Brooke stepped forward and pointed an accusatory finger. He was not going to lay the blame onto her shoulders. It if wasn't for her, he would be in worse shape than he was in that moment and their sons would be damaged beyond repair. No, he wasn't going to do this.

_Not again!_

"If you weren't so drunk all the time then I'd be more than happy to see some _father-sons _bonding time. But when you're in this state-"

"-I'm dealing," he snapped, eyes growing dark with resentment "Just get off my god damn case."

"What the hell has happened to you?" Flaxen lashes tried to cover the oncoming tears, emerald orbs sparkling from the watery onslaught."To us? "What happened to f_or better or worse?_"

"I left our son in the car." His words were harsh, infused with all the anger that he felt at the world. _At her. __**At himself**__._ "You don't just get over something like that."

Of course, they were back to this again. Back to Julian agonising over that one mistake. Back to him making it all about himself rather than about their family and their sons. Frustration came out as she breathed deeply, delicates hands throwing themselves up in the air in semi-resignation.

"No, according to you it's a matter of drinking the problem away." _Click-clack_. Stepping forward, the fashionista pushed for a better answer. One worth hearing. "What about your family?"

"You have never forgiven me," hatred-filled, he spat he words at her like they were some kind of weapon. "Why the hell should I keep trying when you won't even_ let _me try?"

"This is you trying?"

"Yes-" Cutting her off again, Julian prepared himself to continue his verbal onslaught when something inside of his wife snapped. Reaching out, a delicate hand struck out at the nearest object she could find, the empty glass sailing across the floor and shattering into oblivion. As eyes darted towards the feuding couple, Brooke began shaking, her voice raised higher than Julian had heard it in months. _Boiling point now reached._

"_Bullshit!_ This is you finding the easiest way out."

"Just leave me the hell alone, okay?" Leaning back into the soft pleather of the booth's chair, Julian waved her off like she was nothing more than a nuisance. "I don't need you yapping in my ear about how everything I do is wrong."

"I never said-"

"Just let me do this my way!" _Snap! _Standing to meet her, he growled the words out in defence Curling thick fingers under the table, the drunken father pulled up the wood and growled, Brooke stepping backwards as the table fell to the ground with a _thud. _Eyes widened as she saw the rage within her husband, Brooke gazing at him with eyes of pure shame. He had let her down, and he could see that. The problem was he didn't care. He hadn't cared for some time now and the more she tried to get him to care, the more he pushed her and their two sons away.

The more he made her realise that she couldn't save him and keep their children afloat. _Protected. __**Safe.**_

"I can't do that." A whispered hush, her words fell on his ears as the bar grew eerily silent. "Because your way doesn't work for us. Not any more." Stepping back from the debris that lay strewn between them, Brooke shook her head in disappointment at her husband. He let out a quick breath before slumping backwards into his chair, gazing up at her with eyes so unfeeling he almost looked like a stranger

_These days, he might as well have been._

"Don't come home tonight. I don't want you there."

Turning on her heels, the brunette mother made her way back out of the bar, holding back the tears until she had made it to the pavement outside. With a hand held firmly across her quivering lips, Brooke shed another tear for her husband, adding it to the thousand more she had cried that month.

_Adding it to the inevitable ones she would cry in the days to come_.

**x~X~x**

"Again?"

Peyton's words hit her husband's ears as he turned his back towards her, the honey-haired former record producer gazing down at the half-packed suitcase that lay spread across their bed. He could tell by her voice she wasn't pleased with the sight, Lucas turning around to face the irate blonde with an apologetic shrug.

_He didn't want to fight.** He'd had enough of doing that with her**._

"Haley needs me." The words seemed simple enough, yet for some reason they ignited a flame within his wife that couldn't be ignored. It was like his sentence was a challenge, sent to her as a way of seeing what she could come up with in retaliation.

"And so do your wife and daughter." It was a low blow bringing Sawyer into this, but she wasn't prepared to let him just walk away again. He had commitments, responsibility. He was a husband and a father. He didn't have the luxury of gallivanting off and saving every damsel in distress that sent out a beacon call of _S.O.S._

"Nathan is missing-"

Rasing her hand to cut him off, Peyton stood against her husband as his hands continued to shove folded clothing into a suitcase. "And there isn't much you can do_ there _that you can't do_ here_."

"Peyton, come on." The brooding writer couldn't understand her reasoning, let alone her continued need to fight about every little decision he made. She knew Nathan, she'd grown up with him. Hell, she'd been in his life a lot longer than Lucas had. She also knew what it felt like to have a brother. Why then, was it so hard for her to understand this?

"He's my brother."

"And I'm worried about him too, Luke. Okay? But we can't keep doing this." Frustrated, bony arms folded across the blonde's chest and rested with intent. Lucas knew the move well – she wasn't anywhere _near _done with this conversation. "If we can't keep dropping everything the minute someone we care about is in trouble we'll never get to live our life the way we want to. There was a reason we left Tree Hill, remember?"

baby blues opened wide at the statement, Lucas shaking his head as he slammed a pair of socks into the packed clothing. "Can you hear yourself right now?" Fuming, gritted teeth forced themselves to stop grating against one-another. "He's my brother and he's _missing_. Vanished! No one has heard from him in weeks. Do you honestly expect me to just sit on my ass and do nothing?"

"I expect you to understand where I'm coming from." It was as if she wasn't hearing a word he said, the action pulling at Lucas' patience.

"And I do," he countered, zipping up the suitcase and turning to face his wife. She gazed at him with expectant eyes but he knew he couldn't give her the answer she was looking for. "I just don't agree with you."

"So what?" Fuming, irises danced around clouds of anger. "You're just going to walk out on your family because _Haley_ needs you?"

And here she went again, somehow twisting the situation around so that it seemed worse than it was. So that he seemed worse than he was. It infuriated him, Lucas rolling his eyes at Peyton before lifting up his luggage and brushing past her en-route to the front door.

"Stop being so dramatic. You know it's not like that."

_**Dramatic**_. She hated it when he called her that and he had been doing it far too often lately for her liking. Bare feet flopped against the wooden floorboards of the couple's hallway, peyton storming after Lucas as wild hands flailed in the air while she spoke.

"All I know is that the last time you went back to Tree Hill you came back with her two kids. What are you going to come back with next?"

Stopping mid-stride, Lucas whirled around to look at his wife with irate eyes. _Was she serious?_ They had both been guilty of saying things in the heat of the moment when mad, he could concede that fact. It was only human to do. But right now, listening to her talk about Jamie and Lydia like they were an inconvenience made his blood boil.

_That was pushing it too far._

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Peyton stammered, eyes welling as she registered what she had just said. "I'm just-" she stumbled on the words, mind fogging over without acknowledging what she should say.

"What?"

Hazels softened as they looked at Lucas, tired and desperate. She had run out of things to convince him with, run out of ways to get him to change his mind.

"I just don't want you to go, okay?"

Her voice was timid, painful to hear. He hated it when she sounded like that. So vulnerable and uncertain. He'd thought that once they'd been married it would stop, but it hadn't. She was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for him to walk away and never look back. Waiting for him to leave.

_Because people always leave,_ according to Peyton Scott. _**Even after they'd promised forever.**_

"Peyton," calmly, he breathed out her name without the anger that once infiltrated his tone. "I'm sorry. _I am_. But if Haley needs me then I'm going to go."

"And what about your family?" She shook her head as he picked up his suitcase, turning to give her one solemn look before opening the door. The night was cold and the wet road glistened back at the fighting pair who couldn't seem to find common ground. Lucas wished that Peyton could understand, but she didn't. She hadn't for a long time.

_What about your family?_

There was only one answer for that question.

"Haley_ is _my family."

With one last glance, Lucas stepped out into the darkened night and towards the waiting cab that had pulled up beside their tiny abode. The trunk slammed shut from the weight of the driver's hands, the brooding blonde sliding into the back-seat and looking up at his angered, forlorn wife. Her lips quivered as she watched him go, her voice dropping to a low hum as she whispered after his shadow.

"We're never going to be able to fix us if you keep running away, Lucas Scott."

**x~X~x**

Okay, so I know I have other stories in the works but my gorgeous Todd asked me to write this for him and so here it is. I'm not sure where it's headed or what will happen or anything like that, but please review and tell me what you think so far... and maybe even tell me what you'd like to see?

Also, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am currently suffering from a condition that is causing my hands to cramp severely. I will still try my absolute hardest to get updates out weekly, but my focus is on _Equilibrium, The Truth Shall Set You Free _and _A Beautiful Mess_ – meaning, it may be a little while between updates for this fic (but I'm hoping not! Pray for me haha)

Much love and god bless,

Chrissy

xox


	2. Coming Home

**Author's Note: **So I don't know where this is going and for the first time since starting fanfiction I'm a little out of my depth. I've always had a clear cut idea of what I wanted but this story is throwing so many ideas around in my head it's a little disorienting. Therefore – **I NEED YOU GUYS! **Please tell me what you think of the story so far, what you think could happen, how you feel about certain characters and what you would like to see. As always, you are my light at the end of the dark tunnel. _**R&R**_ -_ Chrissy xox_

**_ Dedicated to the one boy I would lose it all for – Todd xox_

**Thoughts Run Unspoken**

"I'm coming home, coming home.

Tell the world that I'm coming home

Let the rain wash away

All the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits

And they've forgiven my mistakes  
>I'm coming home, I'm coming home<br>Tell the world that I'm coming..."

_J-Cole & Alex Da Kid_

**Chapter 2: Coming Home**

The mindless chatter surrounded her like a thick, woollen blanket.

Her concentration impenetrable, Haley James Scott stared blankly ahead as a multitude of bodies floated past her. Their movements were of little consequence to the young mother, merely shadows surrounding her as she worked hard to keep herself together. Honeyed-locks kissed the top f her covered shoulders, barely brushed. Her eyes relayed her inner turmoil, reddened from the endless nights of crying herself to sleep in the lonely house, silent prayers falling on deaf ears. All she had was time – but time wasn't on her side.

_She was waiting for her husband.** Problem was, she wasn't sure if her husband even existed any more **_

That single thought had played out in her head like a silent torture for the past few days. With every heave of her sobbing chest more energy was zapped from her tired body. Haley had cried so many tears she thought it must have been impossible to shed any more. But sure enough, as night fell and the house succumbed to darkened solitude, her salty streams flowed once more. Kissing her porcelain cheeks, the young mother was certain her tears would leave permanent marks from their constant, persistent streaks. She could feel herself getting too close to the edge without much hope to cling to. And when life got too hard and she couldn't turn to her husband there was only one person on the entire planet who knew exactly what she needed. Only one person who could pull her through.

_Lucas Scott._

It had been precisely fifteen seconds on the phone before the brooding writer had agreed to come home. It was a dependable friendship that Haley had come to value more than most. When the young mother had felt too vulnerable and unsafe to keep her children out of harm's way, Lucas had been the one she called. As uncle's go, he was one of the best. It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders knowing that Jamie and Lydia were safe. However once her children were safely tucked away on the other side of the world, Haley suddenly had to focus on herself or Nathan. With few leads and frustrating hours of uneventful waiting, the stress of the entire situation began to take its toll. Barely hanging on, she needed to finally accept the support of those around her.

_She couldn't be tough all the time. **Super-mum or not.**_

"Haley! Haley!"

His voice cut through her thoughts and snapped her to attention, Haley standing to her feet as the tired-looking blonde shuffled through the crowd and straight towards her. He proceeded with an obvious urgency, as if he needed to see her and hold her to make sure that she was there and safe. Sliding to a halt in front of her, Lucas scooped his best friend into a huge bear hug and buried his face into her neck.

"Uh Hales, I've been so worried about you."

Closing her eyes and allowing herself to fall into his embrace, Haley took a deep breath and nodded her head. It was nice to just stand there and be held together by someone she trusted rather than force herself to be strong. Lucas knew what she needed.

"Thank you, Luke. I know I called so late-"

"Come on," came the wary reply, thick arms pulling out of the embrace and landing on her shoulders so that she could see his expression. "You're family. You know that! Anything you need..."

He let the sentence trail off but Haley understood his full meaning.

"So, any news?"

"Nothing," came the lifeless answer, the young wife watching as the hope drained from her brother-in-law's eyes. "I keep feeling like I should be doing more. Or the police should be." Her words dripped with venom as she spat out the end of the sentence, showing she felt more than a little wrathful when it came to the uniform and their handling of her husband's disappearance. "It scares me to think of what might have happened to him, what he must be feeling right now-"

"Hey, come here," stretching outwards, Lucas pulled his best friend back into his protective hold. He knew Haley was probably one of the strongest people he knew, but even this was becoming to much for her to carry alone. He had to remain optimistic. "You know that the best thing we can do for Nathan is stay positive. The minute we give up is the minute we lose him forever."

Forever. The word hit her senses and caught in her throat. _Always and Forever_. That was what Nathan and Haley were supposed to have.

"I know," softly, her whispered voice pushed the words from her trembling lips. "It's just so hard to think that way sometimes." His image flashed before her eyes, stabbing at her chest once more. She didn't know how to survive in a world where Nathan didn't. She needed him home with his family.

Where he belonged.

"And that's why you have me," Lucas countered, hoping his reply reassured her even the slightest bit. He would take any small triumphs where he could get them. "Any time you need to fall apart, you just go right ahead." Soft lips grazed the hair of his best friend as he kissed her. "I'll always be here to pick you up again."

Standing there in the middle of the bustling airport, passers-by oblivious to the heartache of the strangers around them, Haley felt the support she had long been craving. She had never blamed Lucas for getting in his car and driving away that day with Peyton and a very young Sawyer She had never once questioned his decision when he called from New Zealand and said that he had finally settled where Peyton had found more work. When he had given up writing she didn't question his motives why – she simply supported him as best she knew how. That was why out of all the people breathing the oxygen provided by the planet at that point in time, Haley had chose Lucas to be the one to support her in her hour of need.

_She got him and he got her. _

"How are the kids?" Pulling her thoughts away from the gloomy situation, Haley smiled as she pushed Lucas to follow her lead. She missed Jamie and Lydia so much at night she thought she might crumple over from the hollowness she felt inside.

_Perhaps she would blow away?_

"Good, they really enjoy staying with Mom and Andy and Lily enjoys having them around- it keeps her out of trouble." Lucas smiled whenever he mentioned his god-children, their perseverance in spite of everything they had been through something he very much admired.

"And Peyton? Sawyer?" her questions were innocent enough, yet at the mention of their names Lucas flinched and immediately seemed uncomfortable. In front of anyone else the reaction might have gone by unnoticed. In front of Haley James Scott it was a completely different story.

"Sawyer is great. She's gotten so big so quick, time really flies-"

"-Lucas?" interrupting, her voice was laced with questioning concern. Delicate eyes trailed over the boy before her, his evasiveness beyond apparent. Cerulean orbs trailed north and collided with her own and it was at that moment that the penny had dropped. Too consumed in her own need, Haley hadn't even stopped to think about how her request may have impacted on her friend's family.

"Peyton was okay with you coming, right?"

_Uhhhhhh-hhhhhhhuuuuhhhhh._ Breathing heavily, a long sigh spilled from the writer's lips and expelled into the tense air that surrounded him. He had never been very good at lying to the young mother before him and he wasn't about to begin to now.

"She may have had an issue but I don't agree with her. You and Nathan are my family. I needed to be here."

Slowly, warm eyes hid behind closed eyelids as Haley consumed the information. The last thing she wanted to do was come between Lucas and his family.

"Luke, I don't want to cause tension between the two of you-"

"You haven't," He countered back quickly, fiercely determined to stop his friend from taking this new burden onto her already fragile shoulders. "What Peyton and I are dealing with is all about_ us._ It's no one else's fault or problem."

Confusion littered her features as his words traipsed a pattern through her mind. All about them? Was there something else happening between Lucas and Peyton that Haley wasn't aware of. Surely if they were having problems her friend would have told her. She would always be there to lend and ear and be a support, no matter what was happening in her life. Before she could formulate a response to Lucas' statement, the engine cut off and the young mother suddenly took in her surroundings, the front door of her home staring back at her. Opening the door, Quinn stepped onto the front porch with Clay beside her, the young duo throwing smiles at the pair who had just arrived home.

"Welcome back, Lucas," Quinn announced, a large grin encompassing her lips as she reached out and took Lucas into her arms. He could feel the relief that flooded through her as he held her back, a vast difference from the stressed woman he had seen at the airport the last time they were in each other's orbit. "Have you met Clay?"

"Heard of, never met." Reaching out, the brooding writer took the blonde's hand in his own. "Nice to meet you, man."

"Hey yeah, you too." Shaking Lucas' hand, Clay smiled a warm welcome. "Listen, anything we can do to help please, just say the word."

Lucas smiled at the offer, genuinely appreciative of it. He had heard about Clay from Nathan and the pair had been through a lot together. He didn't need to know the sports agent to trust him. As long as his brother did, he was okay by Lucas.

"Will do, thank you. Maybe the four of us can sit down later and you can fill me in on everything with Nath-" he stopped when he noticed Haley's face fall, the young mother slowly walking out of the room. The look on her face said it all. Drained of life, her eyes seemed dark and hopeless. Immediately Lucas was by her side, a strong arm snaking around her waist as his other held onto her forearm.

"Come on, I think you need to lay down."

Throwing a look back in Quinn and Clay's direction, the pair nodded as Lucas pulled Haley up the stairs, her weak body falling onto his for support. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her so forlorn and helpless and it broke his heart. He had worried when Nathan called him to explain her actions after her mother's untimely death, but even then the brooding writer couldn't have imagined it. Haley was always the strong one, the voice of reason.

_She was always the one whose eyes portrayed hope, **even when there was none to be had.** _

Entering the upstairs bedroom, Lucas slid his friend under the covers and watched as she closed her eyes, the sound of her breathing enough to cause him fresh heartache. Gazing down at her in that moment, Lucas knew he had made the right decision. Even though his wife was mad at him, he knew that Haley needed him. She was barely holding on and she needed someone to be strong. Leaning down over her, warm lips pushed a soft kiss down on her forehead, Haley's eyes fluttering a little as Lucas stepped back and made his way towards the door.

"Stay?" croaky, her voice was edgy and laced with despair. "I don't want to be alone any more"

Swallowing hard, Lucas nodded and slid onto the soft mattress beside her, Haley curling up into his hold and nestling her face into his chest. Thick hands stroked her honey hair and after a few minutes her breaths became deep and laboured, Lucas gazing down to find his best friend asleep in his arms. He wondered how long it had been since she had gotten some decent rest and he was glad she was going to have some now.

_She would need her strength. **Every last ounce of it**. _

"You will never be alone again, Hales," Lucas breathed, his words falling between the empty spaces of the air between them. "I promise you."

**x~X~x**

_Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink._

The steady rhythm of silverware and porcelain plates echoed throughout the tiny cafe, matched by the melodious hum of happy customers in a symphony of sound. Around her mindless chatter ensued, tiny hands gripping the hundredth order for that evening as Brooke made her way through the maze of tables and chairs. Sliding the food down onto the table, she forced herself to smile as the customers looked up at her with a puzzled expression.

"I'm sorry Brooke, but I don't think this is our order?"

Gazing down at the plates full of burgers and fries, a quivering bottom lip sunk behind teeth as the brunette looked around the tables. Sure enough, in the window booth there sat an expectant pair of teenagers who were awaiting their order.

"I'm so sorry," Brooke replied, letting out a long breath and making her way over to the right table. Shaking hands slid the plates onto the laminate once more, appreciative looks from the patrons sent her way. She gave them a short, forced smile before turning on her heels and making her way back towards the counter.

"Chelsea?" she called out, the young, blonde waitress turning around at the sound of her name. "Hold the fort for a few, okay?"

Before she even got a reply, Brooke surged into the kitchen area and slid against the wall, heavy breaths expelling from quivering lips as she tried to keep herself together. Heavy eyelids fell from the lack of sleep, the fresh tears that sprang to them quickly blinked away. She couldn't afford to fall apart right now but it was hard not to. Closing her eyes, she let out a few sharp breaths and shook her hands in front of herself as if she were drying them, familiar baby blues landing on the sight in concern.

"Hey you."

Startled, emerald orbs shot open at the sound of his voice and landed on a figure she hadn't seen in a long time. Leaning against the tiled wall beside her, Lucas' face relayed his worry about her current state. He looked good, albeit a little tired, but he was definitely a sight for sore eyes. Without hesitation Brooke leapt into his arms, his familiar hold encapsulating her as they greeted one another. Smiling as she pulled back, her face was instantly more like the Brooke he wanted to see.

"What are yo doing here, Luke?" came the raspy tones known only to the fashionista, eyes opening wide as she glanced behind him. "Are Peyton and Sawyer with you?"

Face instantly falling, Lucas shuffled slightly on the spot. "Not this time. I'm here for Haley and I have been dying to see this place since the two of you started it up again."

Brooke smiled and shrugged her shoulders, like the ordeal had been nothing out of the ordinary. This was the Brooke he had remembered and it was good to see her again. _Carefree. Strong._** A little zany. **

"It seemed right," the brunette offered as reason, her smile lighting up her eyes. "The town needed to have it's heart and soul back, I think. When I look back on all the memories I have and the people I've known, this cafe was a huge part of that. I guess Haley and I just wanted our children to have that same experience, you know?"

Nodding his head, Lucas completely felt her meaning. "It looks amazing, Brooke."

She smiled at his compliment, his approval meaning more than most. This was where he had spent most of his life, where a lot of his memories were formed. Both she and Haley had wanted his approval nearly as much as they had wanted Karen's. Perhaps more.

"So, what's new with you? Twins I hear."

Brooke smiled at the mention of her boys, clearly a proud mother. Reaching into her back jeans pocket, she pulled out a picture of Davis and Jude. Lucas smiled at the image, white teeth stretching in a distinct Lucas chuckle.

"I know, they're perfect. It's a good thing I am a designer because you really couldn't have designed more perfect babies if you tried."

Lucas laughed at her statement, handing the picture back over to the proud mother and nodding his head. He had to admit, they were ridiculously cute and it was great to see her so happy. He wasn't prepared however, for her remarks that followed. As her eyes filled with confusion, the brunette looked upon her old friend for answers.

"Luke, how is Peyton?" Shuffling on the spot, Brooke slid the picture of her boys back into her pocket and looked up at the blonde for answers. "We have barely spoken for months and every time I call she doesn't reply. Is everything okay?"

Her voice was drowning in her obvious fear and it made Lucas uneasy. He knew he and Peyton had problems, but he didn't expect for her to close herself off from the people she cared about. The people who cared about her. When she had claimed Sawyer was too sick for Brooke's wedding he was uncertain but he accepted it, not wanting to cart his daughter across the seas. But at the same time he'd known his mother and Andy were more than capable of taking care of her so he chalked it up to a mother's anxiety over leaving her child. However upon hearing that she was barely speaking to Brooke these days caused him to re-think things a little.

"She's fine," he stammered, not wanting to bring Brooke into everything. Knowing her she would worry and Lucas knew she had enough on her plate. "Just incredibly busy. New Zealand was different than we thought it would be."

His facial expression relayed his concern and unease. Brooke knew him too well to let it go. Folding her arms across her chest, she gave him the eyes that he in turn, knew too well. _She wasn't buying it._

"Tell me."

Soft hands reached out and slid themselves over his, Brooke's fingers squeezing down as she held onto him.

"We've uh, been having problems." He had barely been able to admit that notion to himself, his voice shaking slightly as the words fell from his lips. "We've been distant lately and she wasn't too happy with me coming here this time. We fought before I left."

Brooke could see the strain behind his cerulean eyes, the pain he felt. Even though she had barely spoken to Peyton she was sure that her old friend would see Lucas was right in coming back home. If she could see Haley and the way she was falling apart then she would never have questioned Lucas on it. He was all about saving people and no one knew that better than Peyton.

"She will understand, Luke," Brooke breathed, clutching his hand in reassurance. "Haley needed you. Anyone with half a brain could see that. Hell, even a blind man could see it. We all tried as best we could to support her but she needed _you._ Nathan's brother. _Her family_. She will understand this once the dust settles, I'm sure of it."

"I hope so," Lucas breathed, gazing down at Brooke's reassuring smile. Even after all these years, it was still as infectious today as it had been the first time he saw it. "God Brooke, it is really good to see you."

Smiling, Brooke nods her head in reply. "It's good to see you too, Luke."

_Brrrrmmmm. Brrrrmmmm. Brrrrmmmm. Brrrrmmmm. _

"Sorry," apologetic eyes glanced over the boy before her as she reached for her vibrating phone. Sliding the metallic cell to her ear, the young mother smiled at Lucas as she answered.

"Hello, Brooke speaking."

As the voice broke through on the other end, Lucas watched as Brooke's smile began to slowly fade away. Her eyes lost their life, replaced instead by both anger and pain as she listened to whatever the caller had to say. She took a deep breath and sighed, nodding her head before simply answering "Okay, I'll be right there."

Sliding the phone shut, Brooke glanced up at Lucas and apologised. "I'm sorry, I have to go but it really was great to see you. Give Haley my love and tell her I'll be around tomorrow."

Delicate hands moved to the back of her apron as the young mother untied the knot, the fabric shoved onto the kitchen counter as Brooke made her way into the cafe. Grabbing her purse, she calls out to the waitress who was busy clearing an emptied table.

"Chelsea, I've got to pop out for a bit. Can you handle the fort?"

The young blonde smiled and nodded, Brooke throwing another apologetic look Lucas' way before bursting out of the cafe doors and onto the busy main street, the brooding blonde watching in concern as she disappeared out of sight.

_Perhaps Haley wasn't the only one he needed to come home for?_

**x~X~x**

Oh my gosh, yes it's an update. I took a rest from writing to help my hands and it has appeared to work however I do need to take it easy. I want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed. I am so surprised it got as many as it did for just one chapter. I have to of course, give a shout out to the following people who took the time to send me their thoughts and support:

_**dianehermans**_

_**pam**_

_**Todd**_

_**Tutourgirl23**_

_**brookescott13**_

_**othiller**_

_**dreamkent**_

_**XHush-HushX**_

_**DANI OTH**_

_**ReadingRed**_

_**craxygirl54**_

_**sunshine**_

_**Me**_

_**jdubbs**_

_**LoveWritingxoxo**_

_**BpDs89**_

Just so everyone knows, in my head it doesn't really matter how much time has passed since the last time Lucas visited Haley at the airport. The way I see it, Peyton was making that remark out of frustration and in an attempt to get Lucas to see her side of the argument. It could be a week, or a month – it doesn't really matter. What matters is that the last time Lucas went back to Tree Hill he came back with Jamie and Lydia and Peyton argued that point. Was it fair? No, but she was irrationally upset. As this is an AU re-written season 9, parts of it will inevitably change but a bulk of it will remain the same. I hope that is a good enough explanation for everyone :)

Anyway, thanks again and please review. You know they mean the world to me and push me to continue with my stories. It's always amazing to see them and I hope you all enjoy the update!

Much love and god bless,

Chrissy

xox


	3. Things Fall Apart

**Author's Note: **So, my muse has returned. Or maybe I'm just in the mood to write again? Either way, I'm back. For everyone who doesn't know already, I also have a youtube account under the name fartarse83 – please sub me because that would be awesome! Also, this chapter – no idea where it came from or where it's going, just on a bit of a writing kick at the moment so I guess enjoy the ride my friends! . _**R&R**_ -_ Chrissy xox_

**Thoughts Run Unspoken**

_Every tired second_

_Every heavy page  
>They fold into a nightmare<em>

_They almost turn to rage  
>I felt like I was draining<em>

_I should have been happy... _

_Serafin_

**Chapter 3: Things Fall Apart**

_Son of a bitch!_

Stiletto pumps pounded the greying pavement outside the Tree Hill county jail. With each definitive step, Brooke Davis fanned the fire of rage that burned within. Bustling bodies passed her but she barely noticed them – her eyesight blurred at the edges the way it always did when she felt furious beyond repair. Alas, she had no time to truly feel the anger that bubbled beneath her cool, calm and collected exterior. No, _she had no time to fall apart at all._ She had no time to be the out-of-control parent in her failing marriage. That role had been wholly taken on by her wayward husband who was now no doubt sobering himself in a jail cell behind the alabaster walls of the county lock-up, the very building in which she found herself traversing its steps for the third time that month.

"Brooke Davis. I'm here to bail out my husband Julian Baker."

"Sign here please." Tired, the older man sighed heavily as he pushed the crumpled book towards the clearly annoyed brunette before him. Saddened eyes perused as she filled out the paper like clockwork, the officer knowing from his regular shifts that this wasn't the first time she'd been called to handle her husband. It was sad too, because he knew they had two young ones waiting at home. It always depressed him when people were struggling like that.

_He felt like something needed to be said. To be done._

"Can we get you some help, ma'am. In times like these it's usually advisable to found some sort of counselling service to deal with the problem."

Her heart sank upon hearing his words, feeling an ominous flush of heat spread across her cheeks, undoubtedly turning them a light rouge. "I appreciate the advice but I've got this." Signing along the final dotted line, emerald orbs glance up and threw the officer an appreciative glance. "Thank you."

A quick nod was sent her way before she was forced to stand back and wait. Bodies passed by, each seeking their own reprieve from life's problems. Life stories whirled around her in fragmented bursts of sound, Brooke unable to concentrate of what anyone was saying completely. All she wanted was to get Julian and get home. It was that simple.

Problem was, a part of her was beginning to wish that they would keep him a little longer, just to give her a break.

Stumbling out through the back cells, Julian growled angrily at the accompanying officer as the ushered him forward. He looked a terrible sight, hair frazzled and shirt unkempt. The five o'clock shadow of whiskers adorned his face and he looked like he hadn't had a shower in weeks. Mortified, Brooke swallowed hard as Julian made his way across towards her, already wearing an annoyed look for his patient wife.

"Enjoy yourself last night?" she couldn't help herself, the anger of the situation welling within her and just bubbling under the surface. Of course she was angry with him, who wouldn't be? But in his current state Julian wasn't having any of it, the wayward producer simply shaking his head as he collected his plastic bag of valuables.

"Not now Brooke, okay?"

It was like a verbal slap to the face. One that irritated her greatly.

"Well when then Julian? You've already filled your quota for drunk and disorderly behaviour. Next, they'll send you to court. I don't have time to be parenting our children, running a business and picking up after you."

It was a fair statement for her, but her husband seemed so far off the same path. When had they starting losing their way? When had they started marching to the beat of different drums?

"I never asked you to."

Green eyes opened wide with anger, incredulous at his words.

"Actually, that is what vows are all about. Or have you forgotten the promises you made me?"

_Love you, cherish you... _

"Just give it a rest, I'm trying."

Tiny hands reached out and folded themselves perfectly across the young mother's chest, Brooke shaking her head as Julian began to walk away.

"You're not trying. You're pouting and feeling sorry for yourself but you don't have the luxury of doing that any more, Julian. You have two sons at home who adore you and need you. They miss their Daddy."

"I'm right here." Thick hands reached towards the sky as if making some grand gesture, mocking her. Anger burned brighter still, fuelled by his obvious lack of care.

"You're standing before me but you're not here. You haven't been here for a long time."

"Just leave me the hell alone," angered, his words roared around her, causing a few heads to turn. It wasn't enough he had to humiliate her in front of to town's police department but he had to take it to the streets too? Customers she knew, friendly faces, all looking at her now like she was the most pathetic creature on the planet. She stood back from it all, tears brimming to the edges of her usually soft eyes but now hardened by the reality of her failing marriage.

Who was this man? _Where had her Julian gone?_

"I can find my own way home."

"Julian!" mortified, the fashionista stepped forward and grabbed at his arm. He yanked it free from her hold, not even bothering to look back as she tumbled slightly and had to reached out to catch herself. By the time she had regained her composure he was half-way down the street, moving like a bat out of hell and not a single glance back to see if she was okay. It was heartbreaking. "Julian wai-"

"Hello Brooke."

_Thmp-thmp. Thmp-thmp. Thmp-thmp. Thmp-thmp. Thmp-thmp. Thmp-thmp. _

Every hair on her skin rose on its end, the sound of a voice long feared filtering into her system like melting metal. Panic took over her tiny frame as the fear spread like wildfire, Brooke turning her tiny body around and coming face-to-face with the very person she had hoped to never see again in her life.

_Xavier._

"Long time, no see. I almost didn't recognise you without you pointing a gun in my face." he sniggered then, quite possibly the most disgusting noise she had ever herd, It turned her stomach much like the day she had taken him down. Only this time she wasn't fuelled by the loathing she had felt then, nor the sheer drive to protect her daughter, to protect Sam. Also, she didn't have Julian behind her. No, this time she was all alone.

_All alone and ripe for the picking._

"How the hell did you get out?" Angry, the words spat from her mouth like venomous poison.

"Parole is what they're calling it," a tight smile crossed his pencil thin lips, his mouth in dire need of a decent toothbrush and mouth wash. It only made him more repugnant. "Thank you so much for not turning up to my hearing last week – it did my case wonders. The board decided if my victim didn't testify I mustn't have proved too much of a threat."

last week? How the hell had she missed that? She racked her brain trying to find the reasons but came up short. There was no way she would have skipped something so vitally important. No way she would have allowed such a monster to walk free. He stepped closer to her then, staring at her chest and smiling appreciatively

"You're delicious."

_He knew no limits._

"You're an animal-" Trembling, nostrils flared in snarling response. He cut her off with a flick of the wrist, reaching out and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. She slapped him away, his very skin making her own cry out in horror.

"No sweetie, animals live in cages. I am a free man." He glanced over her body once more, licking his lips like a hungry lion waiting to pounce. Screaming inside, the fashionista didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how badly he frightened her. He'd taken enough of her nights with horrific dreams already. He wasn't getting anything else. She stood up straighter, glaring at him in duel that only seemed to make him smile wider. He nodded his head, biting his lower lip as he looked her dead in the eyes.

"You have yourself a good day now."

**x~X~x**

"No, no, no, no and oh yeah – NO!"

Disappointment filtered the musician's tone as Chris Keller stared at the blonde woman through the thick glass of the recoding studio. "Seriously sweetie, who told you that you could sing?"

"Chris!" Haley's sharp voice cut through the tiny room like a knife. She as too late though, Infuriated by the new producer's lack of sensitivity, the young girl grabbed her bag and stormed from the room, the door swinging slightly before banging shut with a loud thump. Chris jumped slightly at the sound before turning to face an infuriated mother of two.

"What? I'm only being honest. What do you want me to do? Give her false hope when she sounds like two cats fighting in a potato sack?"

Haley shook her head, not in the mood for Chris' honesty. The label was falling on hard times and she knew Peyton relied upon her to keep it afloat. She didn't want to let her friend down.

"Great, just great! The label is struggling enough without you chasing off potential artists!"

_Potential artist?_ Chris scoffed at the words, shaking his head and giving Haley his signature, devillish eyes.

"See, this is where you and I differ, Hales. In order to be a potential artist one has to actually have potential."

"Ugh," throwing her hands up in the air, Haley gave up the fight. There was no use trying to get Chris to see reason when he was unreasonable to begin with. Stubborn, impatient and careless with his words, it was like working with a cruelly-honest life coach. There was no filter that told him to think before he spoke. It was the way he had always been. There were times when she appreciated it but now was not one of those times.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Taking a seat beside the honey-haired musician, Chris looked down at Haley curiously. "Shouldn't you be off working with the police or something?"

Shoulders slumped at the mention of her missing husband, Haley working overtime to push the bad thoughts from her tired mind.

"They still have nothing," Tiny hands darted out and played with the mass of papers that sat between them, trembling fingers on full display. She was clearly sturggling. "And if I sit at home in that big empty house any longer I'm going to lose my mind. I need this, okay?"

"No problem," Chris replied, shrugging his shoulders and acting cool. He thought it worked better than being all over-the-top sensitive. It wasn't that he didn't care, he just didn't do compassionate too well. "But if you're gonna be all _boss-lady helpy-hands_ again, the least you can do is find me an actually talented artist to work with. Ever since Alex left it's been one disaster after another."

"How is Chase doing?" Haley asked, the mention of the brunette he'd lost bringing the young boy to her mind. "Still taking it hard?"

"I'm helping him out," Chris announced, a slight smirk coming to his lips as he thought about his newly-acquired best friend. "I got this."

"Chris, strip bars and binge drinking isn't going to help someone like Chase." Looking semi-insulted, Chris reached out and pressed button on the answering machine as he looked at Haley indignantly.

"Now what makes you think that's the way I was dealing with this?"

"_Hi, this is Cherry On-Top from the Dancing Donkey. Just calling to confirm your V.I.P table at our club tonight for a Mr. Keller and guest-"_

Reaching out quickly, lanky hands slammed down on the tiny machine with urgency. Sheepishly, baby blues glanced up at the disapproving eyes that now watched him. "Okay, so maybe I went with the stripper thing, but honestly, I'm out of my depth with this. The Keller doesn't do well with emotional men."

"Cheap booze and cheap women do not mend a broken heart, Chris." Haley shook her head, not entirely mad with him. The reality of it was, Chris was trying to help Chase. In the weeks since he had come back, the musician had grown unusually close to the bar manager and the truth was, he was good for Chase. Not even the Tara debacle had come between them. Haley sighed and looked at her once musical-partner and gave him some sound words of advice.

"You just have to find another way to ease the pain."

_Pain. _Chris wasn't too fond of it. In fact, he avoided it or denied it or ignored it every chance he got. He simply wasn't equipped to care the way a normal human being should.

"How do you deal with it?"

His question caught Haley off guard, the young mother not entirely sure how she did. In the past she thought she was a strong person, but after losing her mother it was Nathan that kept her together. She had often wondered where he got his strength from and he had always told her he had learned from his amazing wife, but she didn't feel so strong now. She didn't feel like she was beating the pain that threatened to consume her every time she thought about her husband's smile and deep blues eyes and how she might never see them again.

It killed her. It threatened to engulf her in burning misery. And yet she got up every morning and started again. And why?

"I pray," she whispered, soft tones hitting the space between them with so much heaviness it threatened to weigh them both down. "I pray every day that Nathan comes home to me. It's the only way my heart will ever mend."

Sending Chris a sad smile, Haley lifted up the papers in her hand and signalled that she was taking them into the back office. Chris said nothing, her words so sorrowful they left an ache in his heart. He simply nodded as she walked away the immediately got out his phone. Dialling a familiar number, it took two rings before he heard the voice he needed, Chris hoping that this could be the pain relief his best friend needed.

"Hey, it's me. I've got a proposition for you."

**x~X~x**

The afternoon sun spread its way through the bar windows, sending shimmering lines of sunlit glow across the smoky room. Flickers of dust rose and fell, illuminated by the orange rays that threatened to out-glare the tired eyes within. Sliding into the tiny stool that sat at the bar, Lucas looked over at the producer who sat beside him. He had noticed him from the street outside and saying hello seemed like the right thing to do.

_It was unusual to see Julian slumped over a bar in the afternoon._

"Hey man," Lucas smiled, looking down at the half-drunk scotch that lay in Julian's hands. "Long day?"

"Long year," Julian breathed heavily, bringing the remaining dark liquid to his lips and gulping it down. His eyes squinted momentarily as the alcohol reached the back of his throat, breathing out the fire and placing his glass down on the table. Thick fingertips tapped the rim, indicating to the barman he wanted another. "What are you doing back in town?"

"I'm here for Haley," the writer announced, watching as the barman filled another shot for Julian. "With this whole mess with Nathan going on, she really needed my support."

Julian nodded at his words, pulling the glass to his lips and downing half of it's contents. "Peyton with you?"

"No," steady words fell from his lips, Lucas watching closely as Julian held onto his liquor like it was some sort of life support. "She's back in New Zealand with my Mum, Andy and the kids."

"Travelling alone already," Julian mocked slightly, a short scoff leaving his lips and he drank the rest of his scotch. He tapped the glass again, the bartender filling him another. "Not like you. Aren't you two joined at the hip?"

He downed the drink once more, Lucas' eyes opening in alarm as he watched his enemy-turned-husband-of-dear-friend drink himself stupid. He wasn't even going to acknowledge what Julian was trying to imply about his marriage, his sole focus beng drawn the the obvious state the producer was in.

"Whoa there, shouldn't you slow down a bit?"

"I can handle my-myself," Julian snarled, clearly not in the mood to be told what to do. This wasn't like him and Lucas was concerned. Julian was usually a lot more level-headed and honestly, kinda liked making his wife's ex feel like he was better the better man. Yet this superior, intelligent and smug producer was long gone. "I can handle myself, thank you very much."

"Julian," Lucas breathed, reaching out and taking a hold of the young father's arm. "Come on man, just slow it down a bi-"

"Get your damn hands off me," Angered, Julian snatched his arm back out of Lucas' hold with strong force. He wobbled on his stool a bit, hitting a fellow patron as they walked past. Angered that his alcohol was now lost, Julian turned and glared at the man he had hit. "Watch where you're going."

"Excuse me?" standing tall, the leather-clad biker was not one to mess with. Anyone could see that and yet Julian persisted. "Do we have a problem here?"

"You're my problem," the drunken producer announced, alcohol-fuelled stamina kicking in. "Get the hell out of my face."

"Is this guy for real?" Glancing over at Lucas, the larger intimidating man looked for answers. Standing to his feet, the blonde-haired Scott did his best to calm the situation. This wasn't going to end well for either one of them.

"Julian, enough,"

"Fuck yoooouuuuu," Julian smirked, standing to his feet and wobbling slightly. Peanut shells crunched beneath him, causing him to falter on his feet. The man glared at him like he'd lost his mind, Julian paying no attention. He had ceased caring about things weeks ago and now he had nothing left to lose. He was unfraid or simply didn't care.

"Go back to your chopper shop where you belong."

"You're dead," came the bellowed reply, a thick fist shooting out and connecting with Julian's jaw. His head snapped backwards, blood pooling in the corner of his lip and filling his mouth with the taste of lead. Stepping over his fallen body, the leather-clad muscled man waked off, leaving Lucas to bend down and try to pick up his fallen friend. Julian resisted, throwing his arms out in all directions as the eldest Scott dragged him from the bar. Landing in the cool afternoon light, Julian stumbled and got his balance, staring at Lucas with a look of distaste.

"What the fuck is your problem, Scott?"

"My problem?" Lucas countered, bewildered by Julian's statement. "You just picked a fight with a man three-times your size! What the hell is the matter with you?"

He reached out to give Julian a hand, the producer smacking him away like he was the enemy.

"Get off of me," he cried out again, the anger bubbling to the surface and needing a way out. His eyes wandered all over the street, Julian clearly out of sorts or out of his mind. "God damn it, I am so sick and tired of people telling me what to do."

"Go home man," Lucas ordered him, shaking his head and pointing in the direction Julian should be heading. It was sad to see him like this, the writer wondering how long Brooke had been putting up with it. The thought angered him to no end. "You have a wife and two sons waiting there for you. Go home."

"I don't have a home," Julian spat back, the idea of going home to Brooke and the kids leaving him anxious and angry. They weren't home. They were everything that made him hate himself. They were every failure he'd ever made, every let down, every fuck-up. They were everything hat made him less of a man. _And it hurt. __**His head always hurt.**_"I don't have anything any more."

"Come on man," Lucas called out, Julian stumbling onto the road in an attempt to flee. Cars tooted their horns as they tried to swerve past him, blue eyes darting nervously as each vehicle narrowly missed the drunken man.

"Julian!"

_**Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.**_

_Thwack._

The ominous crunch of metal hitting bone echoed throughout the tiny street. Cries erupted as Julian's body connected with the bonnet of the car, arms and legs flying like leaves in a summer breeze as he sailed through the air. Tyres screeched to a stop as his body tumbled over the roof of the car, thuds resonating as he dented the metal and came to a stop on the hot asphalt below. Rocking slightly for a few seconds, Julian finally laid still as Lucas ran across the road, calling out his name urgently before sliding to his knees and rolling him over. Blood leaked from every orifice, Julian's broken body showing no signs of life as Lucas cried out into the sea on of onlookers.

"Call an ambulance! NOW!"

**x~X~x**

_**Reviews are LOVED! Cannot belive over 40 for only two chapters! Hope you enjoy the newest update!**_

_**Much love xox**_

_**~ Chrissy**_


	4. Our Tired Souls

**AN: **_**Thank you for being patient as I get back into the swing of things. I know I said I would update one story at a time, but this story has been bugging me so I caved and wrote some more.**_

_**Enjoy,**_

**- C**

**Thoughts Run Unspoken**

"_The road to hell is paved with good intentions."_

Carl Marx

**Chapter 4: Our Tired Souls**

The fear engulfed her tired body and twisted itself around her broken, fearful heart. Pushing herself through the white linoleum halls of Tree Hill Hospital, Brooke Davis looked every bit the scared and panicked wife. Heels clicked in a frenzied rhythm, beating down on the floor as she darted around patients, families, doctors and nurses. Her mind had been ablaze with concern and confusion the second she had answered the phone to a fearful Lucas who relayed to her the information that her husband was currently being wheeled into surgery after being hit by a car.

Hit by a car._ It seemed so damn surreal._

What happened after that was nothing short of a blur. How she'd even managed to relay the message to her mother to watch the twins, let alone get herself into a car and drive all the way over here was nothing short of a miracle. Somehow she had even managed to compose herself long enough to ask the lady at the desk where her husband might be and even follow her directions. Now, she was but one level away from discovering just how bad it really was. Looking over at the elevator, Brooke cursed under her breath at the line and proceeded towards the stairs.

There were a thousand of them, or so it felt.

With heavy breaths, she ascended them to the final level and punched at the heavy door open. Looking to her right, she scanned the hall until she saw Lucas pacing that floor midway down. He stopped when he saw her, eyes bloodshot red as she raced towards him and fell into his arms. Weeping, she let out the uncontrollable wave of fear and sadness and hurt that had been bottled up for so long.

"Shhh," he whispered, his palm hitting the back of her head and pulling her into his shoulder. "I'm here."

And she was thankful he was. Sniffling, she pulled back and looked into his weary eyes for answers. How could this have happened? Almost on cue and like he could read her thoughts, he stepped back and pulled a hand down his tired face. He breathed out heavily, as if he didn't want to speak the words that she obviously needed to hear. Clearly, she wasn't going to like this.

"I saw him at Blake's Inn," Lucas began, and immediately Brooke closed her eyes in pain. _A bar._ _**Again**_. She should have known. "He tried to start a fight with some big guys so I got him out of there but as we were walking down the street he just sort of… lost it?"

Lucas shook his head, clearly astounded by the whole situation. But as he looked down at Brooke, it was obvious that this news didn't come as such a shock. Slowly, she sank into the chair beside her, breathing in and out as if to keep herself together.

"Brooke?" Placing himself beside her, Lucas reached out and cupped her hand in his own. She could feel the warmth of his skin soon warm up her own hand, but it did nothing to alleviate the coldness that ravaged her heart. "Brooke… what's going on?"

"It's been like this for so long now, I just…" her voice cracked suddenly, raising itself a few octaves. Her lips began to tremble, a sight Lucas never wished to see on someone who was always so bubbly and caring. What the hell had happened since he left? Everything seemed to be so rightfully in place and now it seemed he had returned to a world so wholly turned upside-down that it barely resembled the place he once knew.

"It's okay," he replied, even though he wasn't entirely sure it was. "Let me help you."

"You can't help us, Lucas," Brooke replied softly, the devastation in her voice overwhelming thick. "No one can seem to help us. I just don't know what to do anymore."

"What's going on?" he asked, tapping her hand lightly for reassurance. "Perhaps if you let me know what's going on?"

"When you say he's lost it, you're right." Bitterness crept into her tone then and it took Lucas by surprise. The pain that was in her eyes barely acknowledged the turmoil she had been facing. Why the hell didn't anyone tell him?

"He said he didn't have a home to go home to," Lucas queried, looking at Brooke for some sort of answer. "What did he mean by that?"

Anger flashed across her eyes then, green orbs ablaze. "That is such crap, Lucas. But to be honest with you, I'm not surprised he sees it that way. Everything has been about him for months now. I just can't handle it anymore."

She stood to her feet and paced a little, clearly needing to let off steam. Lucas was right beside her in a flash, thick hands resting on her shoulders and forcing her to look at him.

"Just tell me what the hell happened, Brooke. The last time I was here everyone was doing so well and now it's all…"

"Gone to shit?" She blinked away the tears that pricked at the corners of her eyes and sent him a melancholy smile. The truth was that was probably the best way to describe their current situations. _Every single one of them_. Sighing, Brooke nodded and let Lucas lead her back to the chair.

"About two months ago Julian had Davis for the morning. I was helping Haley with the café and he wanted to spend some quality father-son time with him." She smiled at the thought, like it was a distant memory that had bubbled to the forefront of her mind. Reliving this was going to be hard.

"He had a lot on his mind and you know, in a split second everything can change…" she sniffled and closed her eyes, a solitary tear sliding down her cheek. "Long story short, he left Davis in the car. It was hot and so someone called for help. Julian came back to find his son being taken to hospital."

Lucas sucked in a hard breath, feeling the ache pooling in the pit of his stomach. His chest tightened, sympathising with Brooke. He could only imagine how Julian had ended up the way he did.

"So Julian never forgave himself?"

Brooke shook her head, turning towards Lucas with sad eyes. "Not even when I forgave him and Davis was fine. This idea that he doesn't deserve us – it pushed him to drink and he's becoming a stranger to us. I just… I don't know what to do, Luke. One minute I'm serving customers at the café and the next I'm being called to the police station to pick up my drunken and disorderly husband…. And now…"

"Now we focus on getting him better." His words were so resolute that they comforted her a little. Xavier popped into her mind and she thought about opening up to Lucas. Glancing towards him, his baby blue eyes hit her with such comfort that she knew if she spoke the words then they would become real and it was just too much for her to carry at the moment. So but she pushed Xavier out of her mind, saving that battle for a later date. Right now, the only thing she needed to do was be there for her husband the best way she could. Trouble was, she both loved and hated Julian equally in that moment.

Sensing her faraway thoughts, Lucas pulled Brooke into his side. He rubbed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head, wanting nothing more than to just be there for her. He couldn't imagine how the past few months had been for her but he knew her strength could only go so far. Even if she was the strongest person he had ever known.

Brooke Davis. She was going to change the world someday… and now, _the world was changing her_.

Feeling her head rest on his shoulder, Lucas shuffled to make sure she was comfortable. Although he had come home for Haley, he could see that it was more than just his best friend who needed his help. Closing his eyes, he rested his head on top of Brooke's and listened to the calls on the speakers overhead, the pair sitting in silence as the world moved on around them.

Even if it was just for now, he could give her the support she had long needed.

_He could give her what Julian could not_.

**x~X~x**

"Alright, I'm here. What do you want?"

Slumping into the hideous red leather chair that Chris had appropriately moved into Red Bedroom Records, Chase let out a long breath and waited for his friend to announce his plans. Chris bounded into the room, his face alive with the goofy, cheeky grin that somehow managed to get the girls. Even after a few months of knowing the guy, Chase still wondered how so many females fell for his obviously fake charm. Yet he couldn't hate on the guy. His heart had never been broken so perhaps they should all take a leaf out of Chris' book?

Chris pulled the computer desk chair out from under his office desk and slid across the room towards his friend. Chase looked tired but that was to be expected. Chris remembered Haley's words the other night –

"_You just have to find another way to ease the pain…"_

Alex was the pain. Or more correctly, _the lack of her presence_. Which in a nutshell, had been Chris' doing. Now that he regretted giving her such a huge opportunity, but he hated that it came at the expense of his now very close friend. In fact, if he thought long and hard about it, Chris had done exactly to Chase what he had done to Nathan.

The only difference was he wasn't trying to get Alex into bed.

Shaking the memories from his thoughts, Chris nodded his head in excitement at the prospect of making Chase happy again.

"You will never guess what I have done for you-"

"No, no, no, no, no," came the immediate reply, Chase throwing his hands up in the air to stop Chris' verbal onslaught. "No more strippers, or dancing ponies or horrible cocktails that make my head want to saw itself in half-"

"It's the Dancing Donkey," Chris replied, completely ignoring the rest of Chase's rant. "And that's not why I brought you here."

Reaching out, Chris excitedly pointed towards the recording room across the hall. As it lay directly behind where Chase was sitting, the young boy threw Chris a confused and weary look and turned his head. There, lifting her mouth up to the microphone the sing was a face he hadn't seen in a very long time.

_Mia Catalano._

Chase crumpled back into his seat, his eyes displaying the confusion he now felt.

"Awesome, right?"

Chase looked up at his friend and gave him the strangest look Chris had ever seen. Sitting in front of his friend, Chris lifted his eyebrows as if to question what the hell was going on inside Chase's mind.

"You brought Mia back here?"

"I had a musical proposition for her," Chris replied, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back into his chair. "Her tour was coming to an end and she needed to get started on a new album. It was the right time for everyone involved."

"And how do I fit into this equation?" Chase countered, shaking his head at Chris' obvious meddling. "Do you really think you could just bring her back into town and have me what, bed her?"

"Dude, who says _bed her_?" Chris shook his head in slight disgust, not seeing the underlying message Chase was trying to send. He scoffed slightly as Mia hit a high note, smiling as if she had somehow picked the right time to be heard. "Besides, what's wrong with a little affection from an old flame?"

"Look," Chase replied, standing to his feet and looking at Chris intently. "I get that you are just trying to be a good friend and I am really thankful for that-"

"But," Chris replied, throwing his hands into the air. "You're going to continue to be a giant baby about Alex being gone."

"I am not being a baby," Chase countered, throwing Chris an annoyed look. "I'm just not in the frame of mind to be chasing after girls right now. I have other things to process, like Chuck for example."

"Chuck is a cool kid but you can't use him as a cover forever." Chris wasn't going to let his friend play that card. For too long he had been using Chuck as an excuse not to focus on himself and getting happier. It was time that changed. "Even the kid can see you're sucking at life right now."

"Look, will you just back off?" Chase angrily pushed Chris in the chest, the topic of Chick clearly hitting a nerve. "I can handle myself."

"Yeah, it really looks like it." Standing in the doorway, Mia looked at both the boys with a slight smile. Black denim jeans clung to her tiny frame and her long chocolate tendrils fell loosely over her slim shoulders. She was every bit the rock star Chase remembered her to be and with her arms folded across her chest, eyes pouring over him for answers, she was still every bit the fiery girl he had met not so long ago.

"Hey," Chase replied, reaching out and giving Mia a quick hug. "How have things been?"

"They've been good." Mia smiled, nodding her hand and tucking her thumbs into the pockets of her jeans. Her grey scarf swung silently as she walked into the room and took a seat beside Chris. "You know – travelling, singing, meeting people."

Chase nodded his head, Chris' blue eyes watching them intently. It was clear his friend believed this was some sort of therapy for Chase. "Sounds like you're happy."

Mia nodded her head in reply although she didn't smile. Instead, her eyes narrowed in on Chase and looked him up and down. Without a filter, she was one of the only girls he knew who would tell it like it is. Now was no exception. "Looks like you're not."

She was right, of course. _He wasn't okay._ Not even Tara and the drama that came with her could push away the feeling of loneliness he felt without Alex. They had come so close to real happiness that it was hard to cope when it was cruelly taken away from him. He'd spent many nights just running his hand over her side of the bed, willing for her to come back. _To call. __**Anything**_. But he always awoke the next morning with a stiff neck and a broken heart. No matter what he did, he could not escape her.

And truth be told, he wasn't sure he wanted to. He found some sort of sick comfort in his melancholy.

Standing to his feet, Chase sent Mia and Chris a quick nod and headed for the door. He didn't have the strength to get into it all right now. Every day was just a case of going through the motions. Eventually, he would forget her. _He had to_. But today wasn't that day.

"So I'll see you guys later," Chase sighed, heading for the door. Maybe Chris was right, he was being a baby but he just didn't have it in him to heal right now. That would mean admitting she was gone for good and that she was never coming back.

"Where are you going?" Chris called out, obviously both annoyed and concerned at the same time.

"Gotta see a girl about a job," Chase nodded and left the room, leaving Chris and Mia to watch him slink out of the studio and out of view. Mia shook her head and looked at Chris, her concern mirrored in his own expression. She could see now why he had called her back. Chase was in a bad way and he needed help. Chris was obviously out of his depth but it showed her a side to him she didn't expect to see.

He genuinely cared about something.

"You see what I mean?" Chris asked, shaking his head as he slumped into the leather couch recently vacated by Chase. "He's a freakin' mess."

"What the hell happened to him?" Mia questioned, although she wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer. Before he'd even said it, she knew the words she was going to hear.

"Alex Dupre happened."

_Damn it._

**x~X~x**

"Excuse me, Miss? Miss?"

Haley couldn't hear the man's claims for her attention, the counter shining as she continued to wipe in circular motions with her wet rag. The afternoon sun was cascading through the café windows and it lit the place up with its warmth. However it did nothing to alleviate the chill that crept down Haley's spine every time she thought of her husband.

Images of him sprawled across a hospital bed, or worse still – laying in a morgue somewhere. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes and she blinked them away, the salty stream snaking its way down her cheek. Was this to be her life now? Her children half way across the world and her husband god only knows where? Was she to cocoon herself into a ball of misery and shrink away from view? She felt like being swallowed into the pit of her own unhappiness but where would that get her?

Memories of her mother began to bubble away again.

"Miss?"

"Let me help you," came a soft reply, breaking Haley from her troubled thoughts. She looked over to see her sister Quinn pouring the gentleman some coffee and sliding the cap on, insisting that it was on the house for his wait. He smiled sadly, the whole town having become appraised of Nathan's situation. It was hard to keep something like that a secret when he was the town's golden boy. As the customer sheepishly slid out of the café, Quinn shut the door behind him and turned the sign over to "closed."

"It's too early," Haley countered, throwing Quinn a confused expression. Her sister merely shrugged at her, sliding onto the stool in front and leaning across the counter.

"Then you're closing early today little sis." She reached out and took the sponge from Haley's hand, forcing the young mother to stop her incessant cleaning. "You look like you could do with a break anyway. Any news from Dan?"

Dan.

It was hard to say his name without feeling the revulsion she had felt for him since the day they had met and she'd thrown up in his lap. Yet somehow, through all his mistakes, he had become the one and only person to physically hunt down his son when all police leads came to nothing. Haley shook her head though. She hadn't heard from days in days and she was hoping more than believing that this was because he had a new lead. She was yet to inform Lucas of his father's part in the whole mess.

"He will call," Quinn urged her sister to believe, taking her hand in her own. She caressed it gently, the way only a big sister could. "You'll see."

"I have been seeing," Haley countered, biting her bottom lip to stop the eventual onslaught of sobs. She was so tired of crying her eyes and chest ached from it all. But it was relentless. The fear. The pain.

The sadness.

"I know you have," Quinn replied, sighing slightly as she threw her sister an apologetic glance. "You just have to hang in there a little longer."

"How much longer? Huh? Where is my husband, Quinn?"

Haley knew it was unfair to throw that onto Quinn. Of course she had no answer for it. No one knew where Nathan was. It was like he had completely vanished off the face of the Earth.

"Hales-"

"No," Haley shook her head, forcing her sister to stop. "I'm sorry, okay. I know you can't answer that and I know I shuouldn't take this out on you but-"

_Brrriiinnnggg. Brrriiinnnggg. Brrriiinnnggg. Brrriiinnnggg._

Haley glanced at the phone as it sounded off on the wall. She gripped onto Quinn's hand, her knuckles white from the pressure. It happened to her every time the phone rang. The hope flooded her and the fear gripped her heart in its stubborn hands. Standing from the bench top, she reached out and pulled at the receiver, bringing it to her ear and praying for the millionth time that it was news of her husband.

"Karen's café, this is Haley."

"Hales, it's Luke." Her eyes fell and she closed them in pain, Quinn slouching in response. Haley sniffled and cleared her throat, trying to make her brain function properly.

"Hey Luke, what's up?"

"Listen, Julian's been in an accident. He was hit by a car."

A hand flew to Haley's mouth as she absorbed the news, her eyes wild as they turned to look at Quinn. Immediately she was on her feet, putting her ear close to haley's as they both listened to Lucas on the other end.

"He's in surgery right now and I'm with Brooke but it could be a while. Do you think you could maybe you could come down? I know it's a lot to ask right now-"

"I'll be there." There was no hesitation to be had. Of course she would be there for her best friend as she had been there for her. Saying her quick goodbyes to Lucas, the sisters raced around the store locking up and grabbed their bags. Sliding the door closed, they raced down the street towards Quinn's car.

The café fell into silence.

_Brrriiinnnggg. Brrriiinnnggg. Brrriiinnnggg. Brrriiinnnggg._

"_Hi, you've reached Karen's Café. To place an order, please leave your name and number after the toe and either Brooke or Haley will get back to you as soon as possible."_

_Beep._

"_Haley, it's Dan. Listen, I tried your cell but it wouldn't connect. I've found him, Haley. I've found Nathan… and I'm bringing him home. I'll call you with details soon. "_

_Beep._

**x~X~x**

To be honest, I'm not sure how many of my reviewers are left. I know it's been a while but I've ben battling my own personal demons and after a year, I feel better. Writing is therapy in its own eird way.

Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! It means the world that people who read actually take the time to tell me what they think.

_- C_

_xox_


	5. Everybody's Changing

**AN: H**_ey guys! I've decided to only update the stories that get a decent amount of reviews, that way I know which ones people are actually reading so if you like a story then let me know so I can prioritise which ones to write! Thanks!_

**Thoughts Run Unspoken**

_You're aching, you're breaking_

_And I can see the pain in your eyes_

_Says everybody's changing_

_And I don't know why_

_Keane_

**Chapter 5: Everybody's Changing**

"_Paging Doctor Montgomery to Paediatric Wing. Doctor Montgomery to Paediatric Wing."_

Muffled audio floated across the hallway ceiling in bursts of static warfare. Slimline, rubber soles marked their territory as they pummelled their way down the linoleum floor, white as tennis shoes. Emerald orbs watched them glide by her but barely registered the nurses who wore them. With each passing minute she sank deeper into her own, haunted world of uncertainty. It had been hours since a doctor had spoken to her properly about the condition of her husband. The few words she could remember as Lucas and Haley gripped her hands tightly in support were not exactly the ones she wanted to remember.

_Severe injuries. Surgery. Heavy loss of blood. __**Next of kin**__._

But that was hours ago. As the town fell into a darkened night of little-to-no moon, the hallways had become less cluttered and the hospital had fallen into an eerily, quiet hum. Julian's mother was panicked when Haley had made the call but Brooke couldn't bring herself to speak with her. She vowed to be on the next available flight and had left it at that. Victoria had called a couple of times to let the young mother know how the twins were doing and with each update the fear that held a tight grip of the young girl's heart squeezed tighter still. Sporadically, her eyes would well and a slight tear or sniffle escaped her. Her friends said nothing, merely reaching out for a delicate squeeze of her shoulder or a caring grasp of her hand. She could never repay them for being with her in that moment, especially with everything they were going through.

They had both lost Nathan and were probably going out of their mind with worry, but yet here they were, right beside her_. Comforting her. __**Keeping her together**_. She would be eternally grateful.

"Mrs Davis-Baker?"

Stirring Brooke from her melancholy thoughts, a tall, youngish-looking doctor stood before them. She was immediately on her feet, followed closely by Lucas and Haley. All eyes landed on the doctor in desperation. Although he was Brooke's husband, the state of Julian needed to bring positive news. For too long, the small group had been dwelling in the darkness.

"Yes," Brooke replied, her voice catching in her throat slightly as the nerves threatened to take over her. "How is my husband?"

"Well, he survived the surgery," the doctor replied, a wave of relief washing through the trio as Lucas placed his hand gently onto Brooke's shoulder. For the first time in hours, her body relaxed a little and she could feel the tightness in her chest begin to dissipate.

"Due to the high alcohol content in his body, his brain was cushioned by the impact of the vehicle." Brooke closed her eyes at the irony of that statement. The one thing that was destroying their marriage was the one thing that had possibly saved him. "However he lost a lot of blood and at the moment, he remains unconscious. Our hope is that once his body and brain have had ample time to rest, he will hopefully awaken and we can assess the full extent of the damage then."

"Hopefully?" Brooke whispered the word whilst fighting the urge to cry. As salty tears brimmed at the edge of her eyelids, she felt the comforting grip of Haley as her hand landed in her own and their fingers twirled together.

"All we can do is wait and see, Mrs Davis-Baker," the doctor replied, a small, soothing smile gracing his lips. "There is always hope."

She nodded as she looked away from the doctor's gaze, her eyes drifting towards the room that held her husband within its walls. It had been the longest night of her life and her body ached from the enormity of it all. Yet she knew that somehow she had to find the strength to move forward because there was no other way. Falling behind – _moving backwards_ – was not an option. Not when her whole family was at stake.

"I'll swing by in the morning and the nurses will be monitoring him tonight. They know to contact me if there is any change."

Brooke nodded her head absent-mindedly, the brunette beauty unable to pull her eyes away from the closed door of her husband's hospital room. Lucas thanked the doctor as Haley shot him a worried look, the pair pulling up alongside Brooke as the doctor made his way back down the hall.

"Do you want one of us to come in with you?" Haley asked, the tenderness in her voice one that Brooke knew well. She could always count on her maid-of-honor to be by her side in times of crisis.

"I'll stay," Lucas said when Brooke remained silent, the author sending Haley a supportive nod of he head as she smiled back at him. The sound of his voice however, seemed to rouse Brooke from her melancholy thoughts and the brunette turned to grab both of her friend's by the hand and squeezed them tight.

"I think I need to do this on my own," she replied, looking back at the closed door before returning her gaze so that she bounced between two pairs of concerned eyes.

"Really Brooke, I don't mind staying," Lucas offered, squeezing her hand gently as if somehow the physical contact would persuade her into letting him stay. "You don't have to be alone."

Brooke shook her head however, taking a deep breath and plastering on a strong smile.

"Thank you Luke," Brooke smiled, the author able to see the courage it took for her to hold it together in that moment. The struggle was clear in her eyes and he wanted nothing more than to make it easier for her. "But this is something I feel I need to do on my own, okay?"

Lucas shot Haley a glance but she nodded back, signalling that if Brooke wanted space then they could give it to her. It was the least they could do.

"If there's anything you need," Haley spoke, her tone as warm and comforting as a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter's ay. "Then you know where to find us."

Brooke nodded and gave each of them a hug, biting her lower lip as she pulled away and gazed at them. Before the tears could come she scrunched up her nose to say goodbye and turned to face the door of Julian's room. Giving her the privacy she needed, Haley grabbed onto Lucas' arm and pulled him begrudgingly down the hall. He glanced back at the pretty girl he'd known for so long and the look on her face almost broke his heart. She looked tired, deflated and defeated. It was all he could do not to turn back and hold her again; to tell her that everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn't promise that and it had been a long time since things had been okay for any of them. His whole life Lucas had always believed Brooke could stand on her own and was the strongest girl he knew. But as he walked away from her and out the doors of the hospital, he questioned whether or not he had been right all these years.

Maybe he was blind to just how vulnerable she was.

_Maybe it was Brooke Davis who needed saving all along?_

**x~X~x**

_Beep.__** Swoosh. **__Beep.__** Swoosh.**_

Like a hypnotic rhythm from a dire melody, the ventilator that breathed life into the unconscious body of Julian Baker echoed throughout the tiny hospital room. Propped up against crisp white pillows, his body looked limp and broken. Dark circles pooled under his closed eyes and red marks splashed themselves across his body like an art piece from the latest Jackson Pollack collection. His chest rose and fell with each intake of forced-oxygen, steady and slow.

Brooke breathed out slowly and closed her eyes but there was no way to shield herself from the sight before her.

Walking to the side of her husband's bed, the fashionista pulled at the corner chair and brought it close enough that she could be beside him. Taking his hand in her own, she felt the balmy sensation of his skin touch her own. It felt foreign, the way she had to hold him up. Although she felt like she'd been doing it for months now, it still felt completely wrong. He had vowed to take care of her and because of one mistake those vows had been spat on and twisted and wrung out so tirelessly that they began to resemble a lie.

A small sob escaped her.

He looked so frail. So _broken_. Nothing like the man she had married. She wondered how on earth it had come to this. How could she get through to him? How could they move forward from here when all she could see was the trail of pain and hurt that lay strewn behind them?

They were carnage. At least, that's what they felt like these days.

"Hey," she whispered, knowing that somehow she had to connect to him. Somehow she had to get through to him even if it meant speaking to a stubborn subconscious. "It's me."

Tracing her thumb over the skin of his hand, Brooke wondered what she could say to somehow encapsulate everything she was feeling. She tried the softly-softly approach, but it was no good. To be kind now would be a lie. The truth was she was furious at him. She was betrayed by him and she was hurt. _Painfully so._

"I can't believe we're here," she whispered, trying her best to hide the small sobs that threated to push themselves out from the back of her throat. "But if this is where we have to be in order to have this conversation, then this is where we have to be."

Taking a deep breath, she reached out so that both of her hands wrapped around his. It was now or never.

"You need help, Julian. We need you to get help." A sob escaped her then but she let it, too tired now to fight how she really felt. "The boys and your wife _need _you to get help. I don't want to get another phone call saying my husband is sick. Or hurt. _Or worse_."

Sniffling, the words spilled over like a waterfall.

"I can't live like this. We can't live like this. So please baby, wake up and tell me that you're going to do everything you can to get better because in sickness and in health – we're here for you and we just need you _ba_-"

Her words choked under the heavy rush of tears that spilled over her eyelids. Chest heaving, the weary brunette couldn't hold the pain inside anymore. It spilled out of her, rushing like the raging waters of a river and spilling onto the soft linen of the hospital bed as she buried her face in it. She clung to her husband's hand, unable to let him go; fearing what could happen if she did. So she laid there, whispering her pleading cries as she clutched to her husband and held on for dear life. She would stay there all night, every day – until he came home to her.

Because that was what she had promised to do.

_For better or for worse._

_In sickness and in health._

'_Til death do us part._

She prayed silently that it wouldn't come to that.

**x~X~x**

"Are you sure she's going to be okay?"

It was the fiftieth time Lucas had asked the question out loud since they had left the hospital and as they walked down the street towards the café, Haley nudged her friend in his side and gave him a warning look.

"Okay, okay," Lucas held his hands up to the sky in defeat, acknowledging that perhaps he had been too preoccupied with Brooke and that it was about time he focussed on something else. Like the fact that in spite of her husband being _god-knows-where_, Haley James Scott was still able to haul herself over to the hospital and support her friend. Lucas always admired that about Haley and even now, in a time of personal crisis, her resilience knew no bounds.

She truly was the kindest, most-genuine person he had ever known.

"Hales," he whispered, stopping on the footpath and reaching out to take her hand in his. She raised her eyebrows questioningly, a small _hmmm _escaping her as she stopped to face him.

"I'm really sorry I wasn't here sooner. I feel like I haven't been here enough these past few years but that is going to change, I prom-"

Haley waved her had to dismiss his words, shaking her head as she stepped towards him. It was just like Lucas to try and save everyone. Ever since he was a kid, he had the kind of nature where if he could help, he would. _Even if it meant sacrificing himself and his own happiness_. But right now, in this moment, he didn't need to and she felt her heart sink slightly at his words.

"Luke, you don't need to apologise. In fact, if I've made you feel like protecting my children and being there every night on the phone and flying over here now is _not enough_ then I am the one who should be apologising to _you_."

Lucas shook his head as if what Haley had said was the most absurd sentence ever created. He reached out and pulled her in for a hug, ruffling her hair slightly as she groaned under the weight of his forearm. He couldn't remember the last time they had been like this. He realised he missed it.

"Hales, you never need to apologise to me. I will always be here for you."

"Even if it means causing problems in your marriage?"

Startled, baby blues looked down upon his best friend's warm eyes in astonishment. So he was busted. He should have guessed that she would pick up on the lack of Peyton-Lucas talk eventually but he was hoping that with everything else going on in her life, Haley wouldn't have to deal with his relationship issues.

It didn't seem fair.

Haley leaned in against his chest as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. They continued walking down the street towards the café, letting the question hang in the air. The truth was, he wasn't sure how to answer her. His heart began to pick up the pace and the only thing he could do was tell the truth. They had always been honest with each other and he knew that his best friend would not rest until she had gotten to the bottom of things and felt like she could help.

She needed it right now.

"Things haven't been tense to say the least," Lucas answered truthfully, his eyes gazing out across the road as car rumbled slowly by. "It just feels like she's always annoyed at me."

"How come?" Haley questioned, her shoulders warm under Lucas' arm. "Is it because of the kids? Are they too much?"

"No, not at all," Lucas assured her, the young author not wanting Haley to concern herself with such things. "The truth is, she doesn't like me coming back home all the time. She feels like this chapter of our lives is closed and that I shouldn't feel the need to keep coming back-"

"-But you do," Haley finished his sentence, knowing exactly where Lucas was coming from. In her own way, she understood his need to be home. It was home. It was where everything began for him. So many dreams; _so many memories_. At the same time, she could understand why Peyton would want the fresh start. The memories for her weren't always that great.

"I do," Lucas conceded, letting out a long sigh as they neared the front door of the café. "I can't help it – I have family here too and they need me."

"Maybe it's not that you're coming home," Haley countered, slowing down to reach for the keys in her handbag. She stopped when she found them, her eyes gazing back up at her friend as she spoke a truth he hadn't considered before.

"Maybe it's because you're coming home to help people and Peyton doesn't know what it feels like to _not_ be the one you're trying to save?"

Lucas thought for a moment, the words circling in his head. Perhaps Haley was right but that didn't mean he shouldn't be there. All he knew was that he was where he needed to be. That Haley and his brother needed him. That even now, Brooke needed him.

"The lights are on in the café."

Haley's words cut through Lucas' thoughts and pulled him back into the present moment.

"It must be Quinn. Listen Luke, work things out with Peyton., okay?"

Lucas looked at Haley and sighed, the young mother popping the key into the front door and pushing forward with a slight grunt.

"Honestly Hales, I don't know if I _can_ work things out with Peyton."

Lucas stopped as they entered the café, a pair of long, svelte legs and a familiar head of golden locks staring back at him. His words hung in the air heavily, the young father knowing he couldn't take them back. Haley swallowed nervously, eyes darting back and forth and feeling caught in the middle.

"Hey Haley," Peyton breathed, standing to her feet to bring the young mother into a hug. "How are you?"

The awkwardness was killing them all, a knife unable to cut through the tension.

"Fine," Haley replied, her tone relaying her obvious uncomfortableness. "I'll uh, just leave you two to talk."

Without waiting for a reply, Haley darted into the back room of the café, Lucas staring at Peyton with confusion in his eyes. She stared back at him, the hurt obvious in hers as his words replayed themselves on repeat in her mind. It was a while before she spoke.

"What the hell was that about?"

Of course she was mad. Lucas sighed, not wanting to fight again. It had been a long day and although she didn't know the particulars, he didn't need to deal with her anger on top of everything else.

"Peyton, I'm sorry," he breathed walking over to her, his tiredness obvious. "It's been a long day."

"It's been a long few months," she countered, her tone slightly hostile. He couldn't begrudge her those words for they were true. It had been hard – on both of them. Yet he didn't understand the hostility for it wasn't as if he was abandoning their family. She always knew he would come back just as he always had.

"I don't want to fight," Lucas replied, looking up at her with sad yet gentle eyes. "I'm just happy you're here."

"But I shouldn't be here," Peyton fired back, anger filling her tone. Her right hand pointed out to the side of her body, wildly waving in the air as if to make her point. "I shouldn't have to travel _half-way across the world _to tell the father of my children that he should be at home with his family."

"We've discussed this Peyton," Lucas answered her, the frustration coming out in his voice. He was tired and she was pushing his buttons. He didn't want to keep having the same fight with her. "Nathan and Haley are my family too."

"Haley has plenty of people supporting her," the blonde fired back, getting angrier by the minute. She shook her head as her chest heaved with heavy breaths. "You can support her from _your_ home, Luke."

"Can you hear yourself?" Lucas growled, allowing the anger to bubble over. "He's my brother, Peyton. My brother! Did you seriously expect me to sit on my ass and do nothing-"

"I expected you to be at home with your wife and your child," Peyton shouted, all ability to reason flying out the window. She was sick to death of having to justify her thoughts and she was sick to death of being alone all the time. "You've been so distant. We barely talk anymore… do you even _remember_ what your daughter looks like?"

It was a low blow. She regretted it the minute the words left her mouth and yet she had been dying inside slowly as the days without him wore on that she couldn't bring herself to feel sorry she had said them. This was not how she imagined their life when they jumped into the comet with their baby girl in the back seat and took off to start their new life together.

She never imagined she'd be back. Especially not like this.

This was not a new life. This was an old one, _on a vicious repeat-cycle._

"Dan called!"

Racing out from the café's back room, Haley's eyes were wide with disbelief as she reached for the handbag she's placed on the counter when avoiding the awkward couple. Immediately Lucas stepped past Peyton and towards Haley, the blonde closing her eyes in disbelief as yet again Lucas pushed their issues aside for the sake of someone else. Even after her nasty remark, Lucas still wasn't willing to put them first and it drove the blonde crazy.

"What did he say?" Although he could never forgive his father, Lucas was silently glad someone was out there doing what the police apparently could not.

"He's found Nathan."

Even Peyton turned around at this news. Her eyes went wide with amazement and she smiled towards her husband, Lucas pulling an almost-sobbing Haley into his arms. He held her tight, feeling her body tremble beneath his grasp. It was the news they had been waiting for and the relief flooded through all of them simultaneously.

"I need to get home," Haley blurted, shaking her head as she tried desperately to gather her thoughts. "I need to be by the phone in case Dan calls again."

She pulled herself out of Lucas' embrace and raced for the door, keys dangling in her hand as she hurried herself forward. Lucas tore after her, trying his best to keep up.

"I'm coming with you."

"Luke," Peyton called after him, Lucas turning to face his wife as she looked at him with forlorn, pleading eyes. "We _need_ to sort this out."

He stared at her, wanting nothing more than to make her see that he was exactly where he needed to be. He wished that she could understand where he came from. That people he cared about needed him. He wanted to take her in his arms and promise that everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn't. _Not now_. Now, his brother needed him. _Haley needed him_.

And he had to do the right thing.

"Not now," he whispered, Peyton's face falling as he looked away and followed Haley out the door. Peyton folded her arms across her chest, trying desperately to keep herself together as a small tear trickled its way down her cheek. She shook her head, a long sigh of frustration escaping her lips as closed her eyes in disbelief.

"If you keep running away, we'll never work this out," she whispered softly, the shadows of her past life the only things that could hear her.

**x~X~x**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

It takes seconds but means the world! Please let me know what you think – I'd love to hear your ideas about the story, the characters, what might happen next. Likes and dislikes – everything!

Chrissy


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